


I Love You Too Much To Let You Go

by TheNerdyTurtle96



Series: The Only Enemy I Can’t Live Without [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Crushes, F/M, How Do I Tag, Possibly Unrequited Love, Read the notes for details on ships, The tags aren't very clear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNerdyTurtle96/pseuds/TheNerdyTurtle96
Summary: Etho has a huge crush on False and he can't get her out of his head. His life on Hermitcraft is horrible because he's too chicken to ask her out, but he loves her too much to let her go.
Relationships: Etho/FalseSymmetry, FalseSymmetry/???
Series: The Only Enemy I Can’t Live Without [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914049
Comments: 22
Kudos: 34





	I Love You Too Much To Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, I was really scared about writing this because of the ships, but the more I read this, the more I love it. This actually started as a songfic, but the more I wrote, the less it resembled the song, so I removed the lyrics because I liked the writing and didn’t feel like completely rewriting it. (Cookies to anyone who can guess what the song was.)  
> Notes about the shipping: In the info/tags, the ships are Etho/False and False/???. Etho has a crush on False, but False’s feelings about Etho are never revealed. Also, False is shipped with another person in here, but I never stated the person’s name or gender so you can decide for yourself who that person is. It could be another hermit, an original character, or something else. I don’t care. That’s what the shipping tags mean. As always, Minecraft personas only, no real person shipping!  
> (Man, I write long author's notes.)

Etho couldn’t believe his luck. He had been on Hermitcraft for barely a week and somehow False had ended up there, too. It had been three years since he had seen her last and they had been close friends back then. Then, Etho left to be a part of the Mindcrack community and when he came back, False was gone. Now, he was on Hermitcraft season 3 and partaking in his first community event: Tango’s Boombox minigame. There were a bunch of other people playing with them, but Etho couldn’t take his eyes off of False.

Her brilliant blue eyes were brighter than he had remembered and they happily sparkled at seeing him. Sunlight accentuated her flowy, golden hair and gave her the aura of an angel. When she ran up to Etho and hugged him, his heart skipped several beats and he desperately fought off a blush. As they faced off in a round of Boombox, he suddenly realized that they were the last two left. Somehow, he managed to place two blocks of TNT to finish her off. The other hermits present congratulated him on his win, but all he could hear was False’s delightful British accent practically smiling at him.

He was in complete denial about it, but Etho definitely had a crush on False. It was just too hard to say anything to her about it. _I’ll talk to her tomorrow,_ he thought. He’d have the courage tomorrow.

\----------

A lot of tomorrows passed and Etho chickened out of every one of them. He talked to False occasionally, but he could never summon the courage to ask her out. Just a simple ask would open up a whole world that Etho had only been dreaming about. Instead, he put his head down and worked alone. Soon, he had a beautiful underground cave, decorated and automated to perfection. No matter how much work he put into it, though, it was always missing something. It needed another person to fill the rooms with laughter, conversation, and love.

Etho tried as hard as he could to find a substitute. Nothing could satisfy the hole in his heart, however. All he had to do was talk to False and ask her a simple question. During the day, he tried to summon enough courage to do so, but something would always come up. When he went to sleep at night, he spent far too much time thinking about what would happen if she rejected him. Slowly, he would resign himself to the fact that she would never love him back and it would be pointless and silly to confess his feelings. Then, False would say hello in passing and Etho would be completely captivated once again. It was a horrid and vicious cycle and he was the only one keeping himself inside of it.

Six months after joining Hermitcraft, Etho’s brother sent him a message.

 _< Logoslab>_ Hey Etho! I know that you’re probably having fun on Hermitcraft and all, but if you want to come back and visit soon, that would be awesome. All of us really miss you. - Logan

Logan lived in a huge city with many of their friends and Etho definitely wanted to see all of them again. Plus, he figured that getting away from False for a few weeks would help get rid of his painful crush. It was an easy decision to make and he left as soon as he could inform Xisuma where he was going. As Etho pressed the button on his communicator that sent him to Logan’s city, a sense of peace washed over him. He had been living in a dream for so long and it was time to go back to reality.

\----------

Etho had only intended to stay with Logan for a few weeks, but somehow that turned into five months. It was so nice to see his old friends and catch up with his brother. None of them were mad that he was staying for so long. In fact, they were nothing but welcoming and inviting. Etho told them that he just really wanted to spend more time with them after being gone for several years. He didn’t tell them about how his eyes started welling up with tears every time that he looked down at the button to go back to the Hermitcraft world.

Sometimes, he would randomly open the screen up and contemplate taking a good Irish exit. Then, he would remember False and what a coward he was. She was so amazing and beautiful that Etho didn’t deserve her in the slightest. How could he go back and be around her again? It was just too painful, so he would then close the screen and put his communicator back in his pocket.

One night, Logan and Etho were sitting on the balcony of the apartment where they were staying, looking up at the sky. They had eaten dinner a long time ago and now they were sipping cans of root beer, trying to make them last as long as possible. After making idle conversation for a while, Logan finally turned to Etho.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love having you here, but why haven’t you gone back to Hermitcraft? You said that you were happy there, so did something happen?”

Etho’s heart was heavy trying to come up with a response, but he finally decided that he could be honest with his brother.

“I was happy, but there’s this woman...”

“Oh, I see,” Logan was grinning mischievously.

“See, she’s amazing at building and all sorts of stuff and she’s really beautiful, too. I’ve liked her since practically my first day on Hermitcraft.”

“Do I know her?”

“Maybe…” Etho stalled, not wanting to straight-out say her name.

Logan’s face lit up after a few moments of thinking.

“Wait, wait, wait. Is it Falsie?”

Etho could only nod shamefully.

“Oh man! So, when are you gonna ask her out?”

“That’s the problem. I’ve been meaning to do it for almost a year,” Etho sighed.

“What’s the holdup?”

“I’m just, I’m a chicken.” Logan chuckled a bit.

“Well, that’s nothing new.” Etho glared at his brother, who just stuck his tongue out. “Are you scared that she’ll say no?”

“Um, yeah,” Etho mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed.

“First of all, I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes. Second, even if she says no, then you can still be friends. Being friends with Falsie is awesome!”

“I can, I can try that.” Etho said nervously. Logan didn’t look like he was convinced.

“Here,” he sighed. “If you don’t ask her out, then I’ll do it for you. And you probably won’t like it. Come on, you don’t want to be that person.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll do it.” Etho shook his head in exasperation as Logan smiled wide.

“Great!”

Later that week, Etho finally decided that it was time to go back to Hermitcraft, especially as he heard that they were starting season 4. It was hard to say goodbye to his friends, but he managed to do it properly. Logan hugged him and gave him a month to talk to False before he did it himself. Etho lightly punched him in the shoulder before finally hitting the button to go back to Hermitcraft. He could do this. Right?

\----------

Etho stared at the communicator in his hand, not able to give an answer to the message from his brother.

<Logoslab> Hey brother! Time’s a tickin and if you don’t say something in the next two days, I’ll do it.

Biting his lip, he finally summoned enough strength to tap out a short reply.

<Ethoslab> It’s too late

<Logoslab> What’s that supposed to mean?

<Ethoslab> Somebody else asked her out 3 days ago

<Logoslab> Who?

<Ethoslab> you don’t know them, but I do

<Logoslab> God, I’m sorry

<Logoslab> Want me to call?

<Ethoslab> Why not

\----------

Logan had listened to Etho cry and pour his heart out for several hours that night. Since then, Etho had been completely silent about False. He said nothing as he watched her eyes gaze into someone else’s, her arms wrap around a different person, and her lips press against someone besides him. It hurt like mad, but he couldn’t say a word. The hole in his heart grew larger every day and sometimes he would randomly start crying in the middle of a project. He refused to tell anyone else about it, though. False was obviously happy with this new person. How ridiculously selfish was Etho for wanting the other person to be gone?

Etho finally slipped up one night while working on the minigame area with his friend, Doc. They had been talking instead of sleeping and the two were surveying the area that they had built so far.

“This will be perfect when we’re done!” Doc was beaming with pride.

“Unlike my life,” Etho quietly muttered.

“What?” Doc turned to face him, surprised.

“Nothing.”

“That wasn't nothing. What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine.” Etho started to bury his head into his knees, but Doc lifted up his chin and the two made eye contact.

“Etho, stop being an idiot. I can tell that you’ve been beating yourself up over something for weeks. You’re not fine.” Doc’s tone was exasperated as he stared the ninja right in the face.

“Alright, fine, I’m a chicken and a coward,” Etho sighed.

“Why?”

“I could have had her, but I was too much of a chicken to say anything.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“False,” Etho quietly whispered. Doc didn’t seem surprised at all.

“Oh good God. How long have you liked her?”

“S-since I joined.” Doc placed his hands on Etho’s cheeks and glared right into the terrified ninja’s eyes.

“Etho, you really are an idiot.”

“I already know that!” Etho cried.

“Well, you can’t do much now.”

“That’s the problem. If I had just said something, if I hadn’t been such a coward, I would be happy right now.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Etho thought hard for a few minutes. It quickly became clear that he couldn’t stay. It was too hard to be around False. There _was_ somewhere he could go. Eventually, he hung his head and gulped nervously before speaking again.

“I’m going to leave.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t stay here any longer.”

“Where are you going to go?” Doc seemed to be in a bit of tailspin.

“I’ll go stay with my brother until season 5 starts. I promise that I’ll come back for that. I’ll be a better friend after some time away.”

“If, if you say so.”

Etho left once again for Logan’s home, this time with an unbearably heavy heart. Xisuma was shocked to hear that he was leaving so suddenly, but he didn’t feel like explaining why. It was time to go. He would give this place one more chance, but that chance would be later. Today, he just needed to leave.

\----------

Initially, season 5 was perfect for Etho. There was some sort of magic about running hundreds of miles away from everyone else with your good friends and living together. He had known Doc, Beef, and Bdubs for many years and it was bliss to be back with them. Etho didn’t care as much about doing things exclusively the old school way, like the other members were passionate about. In fact, he found it quite odd that they called themselves the _New_ Hermit Order if they were dedicated to living old-school, but he didn’t question it. What mattered most was that he was far, far away from False.

Doc never said a word about Etho’s confession during the previous season and it was almost possible for him to forget about his crush. For 3 months, he lived happily and eventually, he decided that he really could live in Hermitcraft. With his friends around him, Etho was at peace.

That was the conclusion that he had just come to one morning while the NHO was eating breakfast together. Etho had prepared all of the food, Bdubs had sleepily trudged out to the table and Beef had wrestled a bottle of who-knows-what from Doc’s grasp before the four of them sat down to eat. Once the food was gone, Etho became lost in his thoughts while Beef, Bdubs, and Doc talked about various events happening in the rest of the world. Most of it was news about opposition to the NHO with a lot of grumbling about Wels in particular, but soon, he heard something that piqued his interest.

“So you know the new lady, Stress?” Doc asked, gesturing at Beef.

“Yeah, I know who you’re talking about,” the butcher reassured.

“Well, apparently Cleo and Falsie set her up with Iskall.”

“How did that go?” Bdubs loudly questioned.

“Actually, Falsie said really well. They were pretty sure that Iskall was crushing on her anyway and now they’re all in a flurry about it.”

“Well, that’s good for them,” Beef remarked. Bdubs was grinning mischievously and he lowered his voice just a bit as he leaned in close to the other NHO members.

“Say, I heard from a little birdie that Falsie’s partner dropped down on one knee the other night and they had a ring box in their hand.”

Etho turned white as a ghost and he glanced around at his friends. Doc’s face was in disarray as he realized what Bdubs had just said and Beef was very confused. Doc started yelling at Bdubs, but Etho couldn’t hear anything they were saying. Tears began trickling down his face and he ran out of the room and into the jungle. He was sure that someone would come and check on him soon, but he just wanted to be alone. Being happy on Hermitcraft was a silly dream. With False engaged and eventually married, he wouldn’t be able to live here anymore.

Shakily, he pulled out his communicator and navigated to the world hopping screen. Logan’s city was displayed near the top and with one last breath, Etho hit the button to leave Hermitcraft. Everything was a blur from there, but somehow he ended up at Logan’s apartment, crying his heart out on the couch. His brother gave him space and a few hours later, Etho picked up his communicator again. He deliberated over what to type for several minutes before finally tapping “send”. Then, he set the device down and curled up into a ball. This was the end of Hermitcraft for him. It was time to move on.

 **< Ethoslab> to <VintageBeef> <Docm77> and <BdoubleO100> **I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. It’s not your fault, but I’m not coming back. Thank you for being my friends.

\----------

It was late on a Wednesday night when Etho walked into his favorite bar. Usually, he was the only one there in the middle of the week, but on this particular night, there was another person. He didn’t recognize them at first glance, so the ninja plopped down on a barstool and asked for his usual. The exhausted bartender slid him a spiked lemonade before returning to his cleaning of the back kitchen. Etho sipped quietly for a few minutes before the other person turned to face him and tried to make conversation.

“Hey Etho!” Etho couldn’t place who the voice belonged to, but it sounded somewhat familiar.

“How the hell do you know me?” He still hadn’t seen the other person’s face, so he turned to look, scowling. A very familiar helmet hid the man’s face from view.

“X? What are you doing here?” Xisuma sighed and took a sip from his glass.

“I might ask you the same.”

“Well, I live here. What’s your excuse?” Ever since he had left Hermitcraft over two years ago, Etho had lived in his brother’s city. It had only taken a few days to find work, even if that work wasn’t necessarily… legal. Fitting back into his old bounty hunter role had been easy and it was a good distraction from the disaster that Hermitcraft had been. His life was fine now and Etho was happy where he was.

“Can’t a man go to a bar every once in a while?” Xisuma jokingly asked.

“It’s nearly midnight in the middle of the week. Why aren’t you killing yourself with admin work right now?”

“Actually, we’re all taking a break for a week.”

“Huh?” Etho was even more confused.

“We’re starting season 7 in a few days.”

“Oh, wow. Time really flies.”

“You know, it would be really great to have you back. Beef is going to be joining us and he’s been asking me constantly if you’re going to come back.”

“I told him two years ago that I never would and my answer hasn’t changed.”

“Well, if you ever change your mind, we’ll welcome you back with open arms.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The two fell into silence for a few moments as Xisuma downed the last of his glass.

“Why didn’t you guys invite me to False’s wedding?” Etho blurted. He had thought that he would be invited out of common courtesy, but he had also wondered if Doc had perhaps advised against that.

“Wh-what?” Xisuma looked completely stunned.

“I don’t know if it was a mistake or not, but I never got an invitation. I’m not mad, but just wondering why.”

“Um…” Xisuma looked around awkwardly. “She never had a wedding.”

Now it was Etho’s turn to be shocked.

“Wait, I thought she got engaged all the way back in season 5!”

“No, she did get proposed to, but she said no.”

Etho’s jaw dropped open and he felt like he was going to faint.

“What… how… why…”

“Did you seriously never hear the news?”

“Bdubs only said that she was proposed to! He never said that she turned them down!”

“Oh…”

Their silence this time was much more awkward. Etho finally broke it as he dropped his head into his hands.

“I’ve, gosh, I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you want to talk some more?”

“No. I need to think.”

“Alright. Message me if you need anything.”

Xisuma slid off of the barstool and walked out the door. Etho ordered a few more drinks and finally went home at nearly 2 in the morning. He slept quite late, but the first thing he did when he woke up later that morning was message Xisuma.

<Ethoslab> to <Xisuma> Hey X? I might just join you guys for season 7.

<Xisuma> to <Ethoslab> :) I’ll send you the invitation asap.

\----------

Once again, Etho saw False for the first time in years. They were both older and changed by the experiences of the last few years. She was still beautiful and amazing as ever and Etho’s heart fluttered the same way at the sight of her that it had so long ago. Now, Etho was determined that he would be brave enough to talk to her. He would say something. And no matter what her answer was, he would be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is ambiguous on purpose. I wrote another 650 words for my personal ending (which I will not publish), but you can decide what happens next for yourself. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!
> 
> Also, I do have an ask for you guys. I want to write a shippy songfic for this really cool song, but I can’t decide on the ship. So, if you have a F/M rare pair for me, I’d love to hear it. I’ll give credit to you if I use your idea, too.


End file.
